The MOURI Manual
by BlackMailer
Summary: Thank you for purchasing your KOGORO MOURI artificial intelligence unit from Agasa Laboratories! To get you started on using your new MOURI unit, here is your instruction manual!


MOURI KOGORO™ Owner's Guide and Instruction Manual

**KOGORO MOURI****Owner's Guide and Instruction Manual**

** Agasa Laboratories 2008**

**Congratulations on your purchase of this Agasa Laboratories KOGORO MOURI™ unit! Thank you for your purchase of this Agasa product; we are now willing to assist you with any problems or questions you have so you can begin using your MOURI™ unit without any hassle. All you have to do is go through this manual, and you will be ready to use and enjoy your very own MOURI™.**

Manufacturing Information

Name: Kogoro Mouri (otherwise known as Richard Moore, _tousan, occhan, _Mouri-san or Mouri-kun, _ahou _or idiot, and 'the scary drunken man'.)

Year of Manufacture: 1965

Gender: Male

Height: roughly 6"6

IQ Level: retarded

**Part 1**

**All About Your MOURI™ Unit**

Your KOGORO MOURI™ unit requires no assembly whatsoever, so you can start using it right away. But first, here is some basic information about your MOURI™ unit and how it works.

Accessories:

Your MOURI™ comes with the essential needs, to keep him in good condition and in a good mood. Accessories include:

gray suit

(1) "_Crime Solving for Ahous"_ book

(2) cases of Mouri-BEER™

and (1) detachable moustache. (To learn how to detach your unit's moustache, visit our website and search under the topic "Shaving Your MOURI™ Unit".)

Modes:

Your MOURI™ has several pre-installed modes, so you don't have to do a thing! Types of modes include:

"_Sleep" mode_

"_Drunk" mode_

"_Lunatic" mode_

"_Drooling-over-Yoko-Okino" mode_

"_Judo Mastah" mode (locked)_

"_Murderer" mode (double locked)_

"_Powerpuff Girl" mode (double locked)_

Other MOURI™ unit modes are available by order from Agasa Laboratories, or with the expansion packs that we have to offer with the MOURI™ and other Agasa units.

Speech Tools:

There are a few speech programs you might want to install into your MOURI™ unit. The basic phrases, however, have already been loaded into your unit for your convenience. Phrases such as these include:

"_The famous detective Kogoro Mouri solves another case! MWA-HA-HAAA!!"_

"_YOKO OKINOOOOO!!"_

Certain phrases, however, can only be accessed if you have purchased other Agasa units.

_Note: __All pre-loaded phrases are in the default language of Japanese. If you do not wish to be utterly confused and annoyed by his lack of English speaking, please contact our website and we will send you the "English Translation" program. Or, if you wish to have your MOURI™ in Bilingual mode to help you learn Japanese, we would like to inform you that he sucks as a teacher._

Compatibility:

You might want to purchase some other Agasa units to improve the performance of your MOURI™. Below is a list of compatible units.

INSPECTOR MEGURE™: Now your MOURI™ unit can be a case-solving idiot, with the help of MEGURE™! It gives your MOURI™ crimes to solve, and reduces the risk of your MOURI™ from reverting to "Sleep" mode.

RAN MOURI™: Your MOURI™ unit finally has his own daughter to shout at! Automatically starts with "Clean-up" mode, so your MOURI™ will have the pleasure of sitting back and leaving his trash wherever he pleases. (Warning: RAN™ has a tendency to switch to "Karate" mode whenever she is irritated, which could result in deactivation of your MOURI™.) Comes with garbage bag.

YOKO OKINO™: This singing sensation will definitely keep you and your MOURI™ happy! (Note that prolonged use of the YOKO™ with your MOURI™ unit may result in your MOURI™ unit's constant reverting to "Suave" mode and constant use of the phrase "So...got any plans for tonight?")

CONAN EDOGAWA™: A must for every MOURI™ owner! This handy _tantei _unit can now activate two new modes for your MOURI™ unit: "Extremely Annoyed" mode and "Intelligent" mode. (Warning: CONAN™ units have a tendency to frequently activate MOURI™ units' "Sleep" mode. If you do not wish for this to happen, do not install the stun-gun wristwatch program upon purchase of your CONAN™.)

_Note: __The MOURI_™ _unit is not compatible with any of the following Agasa Laboratories units: KUDO SHINICHI™, HATTORI HEIJI™, KUROBA KAITO™, KISAKI ERI™, DR. PHIL™._

**Part 2**

**Basic Functions of Your MOURI™ Unit**

Your MOURI™ was built to endure anything, from electrocution to hangovers. It is capable of performing tasks such as laughing loudly like a maniac and thinking illogically. Although he was originally created to solve crimes, he usually ends up having other units do the work for him. Occasionally, he will even beat up the baddies who are trying to escape.

To find out more about the functions of your MOURI™ unit, visit the Animal Planet website and search under the topic "Characteristics of a Baboon".

Activating Your Unit:

When you first purchase your MOURI™ unit, he will automatically be in "Sleep" mode. To turn on your MOURI™ unit, all you have to do is yell "LOOK! IT'S YOKO OKINO!" and he will instantly switch on.

Deactivating Your Unit:

Your MOURI™ will automatically shut down and return to "Sleep" mode if not in use or if exposed to too much Mouri-BEER™.

Feeding Your Unit:

Your unit enjoys a variety of traditional Japanese foods. Although, being strapped for cash, he tends to buy only the cheapest meals. If you have money to spare, treat him once in a while to something fancy. If you don't have money to spare, you may just want to let him starve.

Using Your Unit to Solve Crimes:

This function of the MOURI™ unit is actually not very useful. If you wish to use amazing powers of deduction to solve cases, we suggest a purchase of any of the units in our Tantei line, such as CONAN™, HEIJI™, or MEGURE™.

Using Your Unit to Kick People's Asses:

This only works if you have managed to activate his "Judo Mastah" mode. To do this, you can purchase any unit from our Black Org, Hanzaisha (Criminal) or Warumono (Villain) line. (We apologize, but all VOLDEMORT™ units are out of stock.) Your unit will spring into action with super-cool judo flippy moves like nothing you've ever seen!

Of course, your unit may unexpectedly revert to "Coward" mode and run away, which will not be very helpful if you are at the point of being kidnapped or murdered. If a bodyguard's what you're looking for, we suggest the katana-wielding skills of HEIJI™ or the karate moves of RAN™.

**Part 3**

**Troubleshooting**

_My MOURI™ is having problems turning on._

You should first check the number of Mouri-BEER™ cans your MOURI™ has been consuming. You can then try and reactivate him by yelling extra loudly. If problems persist, resort to blasting a Yoko Okino song in his face every morning.

_My MOURI™ does not work with my CONAN™ unit. _

Install a "Really Tough Murder Cases" program. Your MOURI™ will try to solve them, realize he can't, and resort to help from your CONAN™ unit.

_My MOURI™ is on a sudden and unexpected killing streak and is shooting everything in sight._

Most probably his "Murderer" mode has been unlocked. This could be a result of overexposure to any of our Black Org or Tantei Shonen units. Unfortunately, this action is irreversible. Murdering is quite addicting...

_My MOURI™ has suddenly begun stealing things, particularly jewels, wearing the shower curtain over his shoulders, and loading playing cards into his revolver. _

Your unit has been overexposed to the KUROBA KAITO™ unit and is now taking on some of his modes. We suggest that you snap him out of it by using a RAN™ unit's "Karate" mode to deactivate him temporarily.

**Thank you, and we hope you will enjoy your MOURI™ unit for many years to come. Please purchase from us again. Have a nice day!**

_Warning: Do not be fooled by cheap imitation MOURI__units. Fakes are characterized by traits such as: speaking in another language, e.g. Chinese, German, Yugoslavian, Tagalog; opera singing; moderate to extreme intelligence, and consuming of water._

_© Agasa Laboratories 2008. All rights reserved. No part of this document is to be reproduced, in whole or in part, or else we will hunt you down with our GIN__and VODKA__units and make them use the APTX drug on you._


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